Turning old(er)

Thank F*ck I’m not turning Thirsty (Thirty) just yet. I have WAY more to accomplish before I do such things.

You know when it nears your birthday everyone tends to ask you what you want and you, usually too embarrassed to tell them what you actually want or need, coyly reply: “Aaaaaw, I don’t really want anything.” [insert 'bullsh*t' sneeze here]

In an attempt to evade any unwanted tchotchkes or crap I’ll never use, I’ve put together this easy guide to what I’d be ever so gracious to receive on my birthday:

- 3-tiered vanilla birthday cake
- New silver Guess Watch as I dropped the one the Diabetic gave me for my 21st on its face and cracked the glass like a complete dunce
- New Sony digital camera since my Faj was too a dunce, and klapped the LCD into a table or something and f*cked it up proper
- New Black purse and Handbag – if you haven’t already noticed Guess = winner!
- New Adidas/ Nike+ trainers to gym in – current ones are still okay but nearing the end of their lifespan
- Funky new white pumps
- New jeans, straight cut, acid washed SA Size 30 – if I can lose the weight of a small child I’ve put on during this winter
- A back massage to sort it the eff out, full body would be AMAZING but I’m not going to be picky!
- M·A·C Make-up vouchers are always a winner too
- Bottle of Patrón Coffee would go down a treat

Can’t, at this very minute, think of anything else but will most definitely add if need be. Ha!

Please also take note that I will never turn down a gift voucher or monetary gift, so keep that in mind.

And, if for some arbitrary reason, you decide to buy me some clothing item measurements (someone always gets it wrong) as follows:
*Top: XS / S – Depends on Fit
*Bra: 32B… the sadness. In my ‘in a relationship-chubbybunny’ days I was a C. tear. But then I was FAT. Okay OVER IT now.
*Bottoms; Generally a 30 or a small, though at the moment it doesn’t seem like a 30 will fit over my hammy thigh

Right, so there you go.
Use it. Don’t use it.
Just don’t feel like crap when I ask if you mind if I take the gift you bought me back. When you get older you’re allowed to be cranky about liking certain things. It comes with the territory.

Weekend was good. Bokkie put on a good show at the Manhandler on Friday, attempting to drink 100 Chocolate Cake Shooters all on her ownsome (after drinking at least 1 bottle of vino – it makes her emo- on her own). Think she got to 10 of the puppies. What a Champ!

I had the eldest niece, T’s, sportsday on Saturday so only had an hour and a half sleep before I went to cheer (read scream) her on. Maj and I went for a chilled lunch and then came home and I slept almost all the way though to Sunday. Yesterday, I cooked up a storm at the Sis’ house – Sunday roast plus Cupcakes (not KAKcakes = tick) plus Butternut Soup. Well chuffed with myself, all domestimicated (sic) and stuff.

Heading back to the gym later, after my chest infection sabbatical. If I don’t I rate I’ll have to hire someone to roll me in and out of doorways.

Later
H xoxo

P.S Lucky me! I got to meet Reggie Bush, his Mamma Denise, and the famous (for being famous) Kim and Khloe Kardashian at the Melrose Arch Hotel on Thursday.

Both ladies are strikingly beautiful in person and Khloe is an absolute doll to speak to – so sweet and so down to earth. Reggie was awesome to chat to as was his mamma – we stood chatting to her for ages while waiting for our meeting with ‘Bush and the ‘Tush’ to kick off. Love hobnobbing with schlebs with no pressure. ;)